Long-term care can change everyone and everything
The statistics are staggering.
Somewhere
around 10,000 baby boomers turn 65 each day and the U.S. Department
of Health and Human Services reports
that more than 70 percent of those over 65 will require long-term care services
at some point.
But
few people make preparations for this inevitable part of life that can drain a
family both emotionally and financially.
When
the need for long-term care approaches the crisis level, several family members
may be thrust into participation whether ready or not,
In many situations the need for care will creep up on a
family. Suddenly, people realize they have assumed duties that take up more and
more of their time, and take a toll on their lives.
Over
the years, he said, he has seen these family members gravitate naturally to
roles that fall into several stereotypes.
Caretaker – This person provides care for the loved one at home and,
without realizing it, becomes a full time caregiver. Usually, this is a spouse
or an adult child, most often a daughter.
Bookkeeper – This person focuses on the financial aspects, trying to
determine what assets or insurance policies are available to help with the
costs of care.
Chauffeur – This family member drives the loved one to appointments,
runs errands, makes grocery runs and eventually may drive the aging loved one
to tour assisted-living facilities.
Guardian – This family member takes on such roles as power of
attorney or trustee, assuming the legal responsibilities within the family.
Denier – This person can’t accept or admit that the loved one, or
they themselves, need care.
Know-It-All – Most annoying of all, this family member constantly
questions decisions, or lobs suggestions from the back bench, but isn’t near
the situation or involved hands-on.
With
such a lineup, it’s easy for resentments to build, but that needs to be avoided
because the focus should be on the aging loved one and easing the transition if
a decision is made to move into a nursing home or assisted-living facility.
Eventually,
once it’s clear professional long-term care is needed and a plan is in place to
make it happen, a conversation needs to take place with the loved one, who may
be apprehensive or even resistant.
The
conversation should be handled with compassion and delicacy, he says. Emphasize
that not only will this move improve their health and safety, but there will be
numerous opportunities for social activities, games, art, entertainment and
great food.
The
key is for the family to come together. Look for the signs that care is needed,
formulate a plan, communicate effectively with your loved ones and change the
perspective about long-term care from a negative to a safe, healthy and
enriching experience in the continuing journey of life.
Vasilios "Voss" Speros
602-531-5141
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